Sahih Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 62, Number 16:. Here is the English translation of the hadith.
Narrated Jabir bin Abdullah:
While we were returning from a Ghazwa (Holy Battle) with the Prophet, I started driving my camel fast, as it was a lazy camel A rider came behind me and pricked my camel with a spear he had with him, and then my camel started running as fast as the best camel you may see. Behold! The rider was the Prophet himself. He said, 'What makes you in such a hurry?" I replied, I am newly married " He said, "Did you marry a virgin or a matron I replied, "A Matron." He said, "Why didn't you marry a young girl so that you may play with her and she with you?" When we were about to enter (Medina), the Prophet said, "Wait so that you may enter (Medina) at night so that the lady of unkempt hair may comb her hair and the one whose husband has been absent may shave her pubic region.
Response
First of all, its important to know that hadiths are linked to each other, a lot of times stories are continued in other hadiths. And hadiths sometimes explain each other. Here is the rest of the story narrated, which ICEYYY did not tell us in Sahih Muslim Volume 8, Book 75, Number 396 “Did you get married, O Jabir?” I replied, “Yes.” He asked, “Is she a virgin or a matron? I replied, “She is a matron.” He said, “Why didn’t you marry a virgin girl so that you might play with her and she with you (or, you might make her laugh and she make you laugh)?” I said, “My father died, leaving seven or nine girls (orphans) and I did not like to bring a young girl like them, so I married a woman who can look after them.” He said, “May Allah bestow His Blessing on you.”
Meaning of the Hadith
Firstly when the prophet Muhammed asked the man ‘Did you marry a virgin or a matron?’ the word virgin relates to women who have not previously been married, the word virgin is not just referring to a girl who has not had sex. The reason the prophet was asking if she was married before could be because a virgin would have less expectations from her husband. A woman who has been previously married may have been treated well and may be expecting things from her husband financially etc. We are not 100% sure how old the man in question was at the time, The person in question was Jabr bin Abdullah, so he was probably young, inexpereienced and he was not able to support a mature woman financially and in other ways. So the prophe asked because he was going to give advise. (The majority of the prophets wife’s were widows)
In this narration, Jabr bin Abdullah chose to marry the matron because he had younger sisters he had to take care of. So he married for practical reasons. The prophet however asked ‘"Why didn't you marry a young girl so that you may play with her and she with you?" Iceyyy assumes this implies a sexual things. This could mean laughing, spending time, sharing things with your spouse. So the prophet Muhammed just asked a normal question. Even if it refers to Sex its not bad, because sex is normal and is what married couples do. The hadith says ‘you may play with her and she with you’ so this is a two way process in marraige and its concentual SO IT does not imply rape or molestation as ICEYYY suggests
The prophet expected the man to marry a virgin. This is because its preferable (but not compulsory) for a muslim man to marry a muslim virgin woman. The reason is that at the time, most virgins were marred no later than 14 or 15 years old. So they were younger, more energetic and they could ‘play’ with their husbands more, they could travel, run households better and they would live longer, A matron is a non-virgin who has previously been married so although she would be wiser & better at caring but because she is older, she will be more vulnerable to getting sick, less eneregtic and she could possibly have children already that she has to take care of. Therefore marriage is looked at from a practical standpoint. It is permissible for a Muslim man to marry a matron, however, the preference is usually for virgins. Muslims are encouraged to be chaste and to wait until marriage. And divorce is not encouraged but its allowed as a last resort. Purity and virginity are highly valued before marriage in Islam. Premarital sex takes away that purity. Most husbands should be their wives First sexual partner, so that’s why virginity is preferred in Islam.
Finally the hadith says for those women who’s husbands have been away they need to shave their pubic region. This is because the Prophet (peace be upon him) set a time limit of forty days, and the hair should not be left any longer than that because of the hadith by Anas ibn Malik who said, “He set us a time limit of no more than forty days for trimming the mustache, clipping the nails, plucking the armpit hairs, and shaving the pubic hair” The reasons behind removing this dirty hair could also be applied to the hair on the scrotum if impurity gets attached to it, because the purpose is to be completely clean and pure and keep away from anything that may cause dirt and impurities to cling to the body. In this case, removing this hair is a good thing. With the regard to women, the rulings on removing the pubic hair are the same as the rulings for men